Bowling Across America

Number of states bowled:

50

Miles added to Mom’s Honda:

25,211

Nachos consumed (1.5 oz cheese servings):

61

Weight Watch:

Trip Beginning: 167 lbs
Trip Conclusion: 173 lbs

Best diner to date:

Corner Restaurant in Kansas City, where the Porker Scramble comes with a premonition of a heart attack.

Best bowling alley fare:

Gumbo at Mid City Rock & Bowl in New Orleans. They promise it’s the best gumbo you’ll ever find at a bowling alley.

People’s homes in which I’ve stayed:

55

Most awkward moment:

Bowling in Virginia with ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend: “Yeah, things are going great for me too. I snapped, quit my job and am driving my mom’s car, hanging out in bowling alleys. Want some nachos?”

Packs of cigarettes smoked second-hand:

256, a figure not added to in the surreal, smoke-free lanes of California

Scenic overlooks and/or historic markers at which I’ve stopped:

14, most of which were in Idaho

Number of frames bowled:

1,150 (includes 30 candlepin and 10 duckpin)

Pairs of rented shoes worn:

Laced: 63
Velcro: 2

Average score:

132

Average score after:

0-2 beers: 141
3-6 beers: 123
7-12 beers, 2 shots of Jager and nachos: 154

Best game:

180 (Candlepin: 82; Duckpin: 73)

Worst game:

83 (Candlepin; 82; Duckpin: 73)

Public displays of affection witnessed:

67—plus two audible displays in neighboring motel rooms…and three atop the Space Needle in Seattle. Who pays $24 to grope 520 ft in the air?

Public displays of affection participated in:

5*